Warm Bed, Heavy Heart

Yesterday evening, as I was walking in Phoenix with my three daughters toward Symphony Hall to see the Nutcracker, I was approached by a woman who was obviously in need. She told me her story and thanked me for not cursing her out. She showed me her pregnant belly and asked for money for food. I never give money for food. I give food. And she needed so much more than food. I was caught off gaurd. I was kind, asked her to protect her baby and gave her $5 in cash trusting God to get me out of the parking garage as I had left my purse at a friend's and only had a little cash my husband had given me for parking. I wanted to take her for a hearty meal. Talk to her about her baby, about her, about the Bread of Life, but I didn't have my wallet, I had my girls with me and we were running late for the Nutcracker which had tickets in our name at will call for another family as well, so I couldn't leave them hanging either.... Layer upon layer. And I knew she was probably lying, that her story wasn't altogether accurate. But I didn't care. I saw her need. I saw her. All evening I kept thinking of what I could have done, wishing I had brought her to the ballet with us, telling her I would take her baby that she wants to give up, wishing I had stopped and prayed with her. As I climbed into my warm bed, so thankful for all I have, I lay wondering if she was warm and if my $5 had gone for a hamburger or for crack. Please pray with me for Aquarius.

Thankfulness

I have been journaling much of my gratitude. I have taken cues from life's circumstances and reflected them back to God. Much of it is so personal it might bore you, but I did want to blog about our time with friends in Utah this Thanksgiving. There was so much laughter between us all! We played games with the adults and the kids, we made food together (several kids joined in...it was lovely), we ate good food together, we stayed up late every night, we shared confidences, joys and struggles, we watched our children play, we met new friends(We love you Sharon, Rachel and Jason!), we enjoyed a parade, Christmas lights, beautiful mountains, the cold, and sitting in front of the fireplace. Sharing life for a week was such a treasure.












CR made these beautiful apple pies, with perfectly flaky crust!
I made the pumpkin ones. :)





Hannah, please forgive me! I did not get one good photo of you! I enjoyed you so much, beautiful girl. :)

Expression

I'm so thankful for the endless ways we can express ourselves, especially with our eyes and faces. God's beauty is so reflected there!

Grace

For several days now I have felt the heaviness of the human condition, of the dangerous road so many of us walk apart from God, of our need for a severe mercy. What will become of us who refuse God's love? What of those who reject God's plans? In this confused and twisted world I find I am desperate for God and the only relief I find is in Him. And I am continually amazed that His response to me is GRACE. Despite all my darknesses, all my depravity, all my weaknesses, He doesn't turn away in disgust. He turns toward me through Christ, with a full-on gaze of love, acceptance, forgiveness and grace. This seems too good to be true. But this, this is the God I love! The One who is better than my reality, whose love is better than all I can dream up, whose plans are greater than my imagination and whose heart is bigger, grander and more beautiful than I can fathom. It's not that it's too good to be true, it's that the Truth IS Love, Perfect Love. I am so deeply grateful for the grace of God.

So Much

Wow. There's so much to be thankful for. I'm thankful to be getting over the flu, thankful for the time I had to read in bed while I was sick :), thankful for my husband who picked up the slack joyfully, thankful to be surrounded (in my home at least) by fall colors and plenty of candles, thankful for my dreaming daughter who wakes up most mornings telling me the most fantastic dreams...this one I've got to tell you! The latest is that she traveled to see friends in Utah BY HERSELF...at the age she is now, she insisted. She went to the beach (hmmm?) with them and had several adventures. She saw a unique flower and asked our friend CR about it. He said it was edible. She realized after she ate it that she forgot to ask what it DID. She grew really tall, like a giant. They played football on the beach and she caught EVERY pass with ease. When she got tired she started to shrink, but when she rested she got bigger again. In her dreams she can do anything: ride a monster truck by herself, make friends with a giant, drive a car, climb mountains. Maybe I should write an illustrated collection of Lily's dreams.



Ann, from Holy Experience encouraged me to set a date of when I'd like to reach my goal of 1000 gifts. I think that's a great idea and have chosen January 30, 2010. That may seem like a long time, but my style is slow and savory! I will likely journal them all, but select my favorites to share. Thanks to all who have read my blog and have encouraged me on gratitude road.

43-ish Gifts and Counting...

Cool weather, planting flowers, fall colors, open windows and doors, a break from school, time with family and friends, cloudy days, happy dogs and fresh produce....these are among the things I am treasuring today. But for the whole week I have been treasuring in my heart the lessons and lives of Abraham and Sarah. I've been reading Genesis and savoring it, trying to fathom the MANY years before Abraham saw some proof of God's promise, being strengthened by their faith, encouraged by God's direct communication with them and validated by their humanity in it all. "Wow" is all I can say. Wow.

Trains, Generosity and Memories

I'm so thankful for the generosity of my parents who treated us all to the Grand Canyon Railway as an early Christmas gift! We took the two hour train up and back to the Canyon, complete with entertainment and a train "robbery!" The kids loved it and I think it will be one of those very special memories with Grandma and Grandpa.

My Dad and the Grand Canyon

I am so thankful for my Dad. We visited the Grand Canyon this weekend...my Dad, Step-Mom, Chris, the kids and I. And tonight, the day after our return, he opened up the great chasm of his memory and shared his history with me and the kids. I've never heard him share so much of himself. Did the Canyon inspire him? It was beautiful to watch my children listen and amusing to hear Lily's incessant questions that caused delay after delay in the story. Just as beautiful as the Grand Canyon. Every bit, piece and memory showing the handiwork of the Lord...even the dark and broken remembrances reflect the hope of a Redeemer.






I can hardly believe I'm posting a picture of the Grand Canyon. It's so "touristy," not to mention that I've never liked the Canyon in art. An exceptionally few can capture any measure of its grandeur. I do not attempt to do so.... There is nothing like actually being there. In fact, a few hours didn't cut it for me. I felt like I wanted to pick up and move and reside there for a time...to let its bigness and my smallness settle in. It's vaster to me than the littleness I feel when by the sea.



Can you believe this was posted outside the gift shop? Credit appropriately given!

The Link

If you wish to join me and the community of gratitude in some way or want to know the source of the idea, here's the link:

Literature

I am SO thankful for books. Literature has been a gift in my adulthood that went undiscovered in my youth. I relish the privilege of owning them! And I love that I can buy books new, used and on-line...or just borrow from a friend or library. Going to bookstores, new and used, has become a favorite, if infrequent, past time. I have two great friends that continually feed me good book recommendations. Without them, I would still be floundering...thank you Naomi and Amy! I have encouraged Naomi to blog a reading list because she is SO widely read AND has excellent taste. I'll let you know if one emerges.

My paper hanging lamp is a gift to me as well. It hangs over an old-fashioned white chair in our library...one of our reading nooks. We love our reading nooks!

Seventeen gifts total blogged. Looking forward to the journey!

Fashion Inspiration

My daughter's love for fashion, style and beauty is a gift to me. I am enjoying watching her become a woman, finding her inner and outer beauty. She loves color, fabric and design. I am blessed with seeing her enjoy fashion without centering her life around it!

Pigtails

Can I be thankful for pigtails? There's been a lot of them around my house lately. They've made a comeback with all three of my daughters and I LOVE them! They are a gift to me and a reminder of simple beauty.

Number Four & Five

I'm thankful for Lily's creative hands AND her endless enjoyment of Legos. She made a teepee for her Lego people out of modeling clay yesterday. Genius!

Gift Number Three

My last big front tooth lost...OK, not mine, my youngest's. Already I see the final adult tooth appearing. I have to admit that I feel a little sad about it. But what I feel most is gratitude that I am able to enjoy it and notice it each and every time she smiles. One more step of growing up....please take it slow, my little one!

Blessing Number One

I know I do not have to prioritize my gratitude, but as I pondered my thankfulness for my husband it brought me back to the source. I'm most thankful for the gift of Jesus. My husband is so incredible to me because he gives me Jesus...he is Jesus to me. “Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." I am filled with adoration for my husband as I watch him daily give himself for me. And this stirs in my heart a deep worship and reverence for God who came to earth serving and loving. How does he give himself for me? Is it how hard he works, his quickness to forgive my failings, his relentless propensity to understand me (even if I have to help him a little), his desire to protect and defend me, his persevering service to me, his gentle and unapologetic leadership? It's that in all these things (and more), HE LOVES ME. THIS is my Jesus. THIS is my beautiful friend, my most trusted companion and teacher.

So, I guess that's two gifts. I am abundantly blessed.

One Thousand Gifts

I decided to join a community of gratitude, to intentionally notice, capture, and dwell on the many gifts in my life. If you'd like to join me, here are some steps as recommended on www.aholyexperience.com. And if you do, I'd love to hear about it!

A few simple thoughts to begin the 1000 Gift List:

1. Pray that He may open the eyes of our hearts

2. Begin giving thanks for the daily washing in His fountain of Gifts--just on a scrap piece of paper or in a journal. Notice and write down from the obvious to little. And begin to feel more joy, less stress, better health, more connected in your relationships, and more delight in your everyday life. Praise is what we are made for!

3. I found setting a time goal of choosing to give thanks for a 1000 gifts over a course of a few months was beneficial --- kept me attending to all the ways in which He whispers "I love you." Some folks set a goal of counting ten graces a day, others spend one day a week intensely counting. But consider yourself warned: counting gifts is addictive and becomes the happiest of habits that becomes away of living praise!

4. I try to add to the endless list of gifts every Monday... to begin the week with a heart spilling with gratitude!

5. If you'd like to blog your list, feel free to use the 1000 Gifts graphic. (code above)

6. If you'd like to add your blog to the Gratitude Community, we'd love to hear from you! Email me a link to your blog, and your worship will edify the body of believers.

7. If you'd prefer to quietly jot your list down in a journal, you are still warmly invited to join the community-- drop a line, and we'll just add your first name to the list, and we'll feel one with you in thanksgiving.

8. Just begin counting the endless blessings!

Food...What More Can I Say?

Periodically, I take photos of the delicious food my husband and I make. This summer there were A LOT of cakes! Mmmmm....